Fat and Sassy

I guess I should update. It always seems to cross my mind that "I should put that on the blog..." but I never seem to manage to get around to actually doing it. Slacker, yes. I'm aware.

The first thing that seemed to cross my mind (2 months ago) was the first movements. How strange to feel the little flutters and bubbles... which now are more alien-esque kicks and squirms, contorting and shifting my entire belly. It's crazy, watching the little shins, feet and knees poke out, and to watch the little back end slide across my belly button.

I tried for weeks to catch the little squirt on video, but every time I whipped out the camera, he seemed to sense it and quit moving. Like mother, like son, I suppose. Camera? Quick, hide! I'm always the one behind the camera, never in front of it.

I've also been trying to document "belly pictures" for those of you who so desperately need to see the bulge in action. The problem with this is that the pictures ... well... suck, mainly because they're being taken 1) by me, and 2) by a camera phone. And usually in my bathroom, because that's where the lighting is the best.

Behold! February-Belly. Notice, I still have abs! How I long for the solid belly that could help me sit up on my own, roll over, stand straight, walk normal, etc...-sigh-

March-Belly. "Hey, look! I'm showing!!" Heh heh... yeah, I had no idea...

April-Belly. As I recall, this was the "just ate too much dinner" belly. This was shopping for all those super-cute maternity clothes with that dorky belly pillow strapped under it all, with that huge velcro strap that just simply did not fit right... HA! "Karin, this doesn't look right... babies aren't this... lumpy... It looks like I have a chair cushion sitting on my belly!" Yeah, I got the deformed one.

May-Belly. This was about the time people started to notice something was a little amiss. Like, the odd weight distribution... In scrubs, it just looked like I had a doughnut addiction. I love the beatings-around-the-bush as people try to figure out if you're actually pregnant, or if you're just getting fat. "Look at me from the side... do I look different to you?"

June-Belly! All of a sudden, there he is. And scrubs don't hide him anymore. In fact, I think he hates being in scrubs. He sure went and made them impossibly uncomfortable in a big hurry. Of all things I never thought would happen. Grown out of scrubs. Now I look at moo-moos and think "Ooh! That looks breathy and fresh! Can I wear that with my Hawaiian flip-flops?"

Lastly, I had my 29 week appointment yesterday, postponed from 28 weeks and with a brand new doctor, because unbeknownst to everyone, my original OB is pregnant and on bedrest! Surprise! And the glucose test made me sick. Yuck. Glucosoda. I really don't recommend adding it to your beverage list. It actually tastes like really sugary orange soda. So if you like orange soda, it's fantastic. Other than the 50g of sugar, which hops you up like a triple-shot espresso with a Red Bull chaser. Whoo!! The crash, on the other hand, is more foot-to-your-face style. Tagged onto a blood draw, no less, which makes everything better. However, I especially enjoyed the warning from the lab tech, as I was about to down the short-bottle of liquid orange hell, about "don't go off and run stairs now," as if I looked like I was going to in the first place. Maybe I did, who knows...